solved Hi Professor,You gave me the first draft sample last week,

Hi Professor,You gave me the first draft sample last week, and this week I got some reviews of the essay need to improve below. Don’t need to write a new essay, just add or delete some of them.1st Paragraph (Introduction: Define the Problem)One thing Peggys does really well in her essay is to talk about the problem by pulling definitions, statistics and causes so that people can understand where the problem comes from. she gives a detailed background of the problem.2nd Paragraph (Propose the solution)She does propose a solution, but I think she should get more in dept / or more detailed. she talks about regular physical exercise but I think she could elaborate more on that.She provides intext citations but I have never seen MLA like that so I am guessing she is paraphrasing?3rd Paragraph (Explain Effectiveness)I think it’s effective as she talks about if from all possible angles. One thing I noticed is that she doesn’t offer a solution on how people should learn to control what they consume. If we are talking about obesity.. I have the belief that some people can just not control it and they need a system of something to help them.4th Paragraph (Address Fairness, Feasibility, and any Opposition or Weaknesses)She talks about how other factors affect people’s daily exercising lives, like transportation and it’s results. and how physical activity is insufficient and proceeds to give some facts so people can look at it from another point of view (maybe is not people’s fault they are overweight but transportation and other factors contribute to it)I do not believe there’s an opposition here.Structure of your Proposal Argument Essay:1st Paragraph (Introduction: Define the Problem)To make it easier for everyone, state only ONE problem. You may one want to begin your introduction with a hook (statistic or surprising fact), and define your problem. Do not forget to include your research, in-text citation, paraphrases, and quotation marks for directly copied statements from your sources.2nd Paragraph (Propose the solution)To make it easier for everyone, propose only ONE solution. Do not forget to include your research, in-text citation, paraphrases, and quotation marks for directly copied statements from your sources.3rd Paragraph (Explain Effectiveness)Explain how effective your proposed solution is. Do not forget to include your research, in-text citation, paraphrases, and quotation marks for directly copied statements from your sources. Of course, you must include your own analysis as well.4th Paragraph (Address Fairness, Feasibility, and any Opposition or Weaknesses)You must include a counterargument. An example of a counterargument is in your Course Reader Chapter 10: This politician says that we should freeze military spending because our nation needs to save money. It’s true that budgets must be carefully monitored, but my proposed increase in spending will actually generate more tax revenue because it will create new high-paying jobs. Do not forget to include your research, in-text citation, paraphrases, and quotation marks for directly copied statements from your sources.5th Paragraph (Conclusion)Your conclusion is a summary or restatements of what you have presented in your four paragraphs (problem/ solution/ effectiveness/ opposition). Do not forget to include your research, in-text citation, paraphrases, and quotation marks for directly copied statements from your sources.